brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
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All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
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Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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