So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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