Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
