I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
