What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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