I think I am morally bankrupt
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
