is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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