we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
