Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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