There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
