I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
