It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
