so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
