If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
