he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
