So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
