wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
