sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
