the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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