I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
