I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
