i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
