I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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