I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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