i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
