but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
