god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
