I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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