We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
