I CAN MOONWALK!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize