My girlfriend figured out who you are.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
