so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
