new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
