Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
