is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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