what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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