when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Randomize