Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize