remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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