at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
