I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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