Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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