You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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