Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize