Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
