The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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