so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
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Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
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Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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