I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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