with your own penis?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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