yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Found the puke drawer
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
