You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
