There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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