Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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