I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
