Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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