he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Less talking, more tequila
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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