we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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